Light and Darkness
by kamiikiteiru
Summary: Aeryn's thoughts as she thinks back on almost dying in the Flax with John.


Disclaimer: I do not Own Farscape. I just like to play with it.

Spoilers: The Flax and Infinite Possibilities II

**Light and Darkness**

"What did you see?" She asked, changing the subject. Her eyes were glazed over and she was fighting to keep her emotions in check. Learning to be prepared for death and actually facing it were two different things.

"Hmm?" His arm was around her, trying to keep her close and share their heat between them.

"Y-you know, after the kill shot, when you were dead. Did you see the things that, you know that, that Humans believe? The light? Friends?" She wouldn't look straight at him. She didn't want him to see her fear, to see the tears she wouldn't let fall.

"No. No, I didn't. All I saw was black."

She looked at him now. This Human, this man who was so full of hope. He seemed to have none at the moment and it scared her.

"I don't know maybe you Sebaceans are right." He had been staring blankly in front of him, but he looked at her now. His blue eyes were empty, devoid of something, a light. They were dull. Hopeless and the Human was never hopeless.

She looked back down, not wanting to see his eyes anymore. She needed his silly idea of hope now, but he had none to offer her.

"Maybe there's nothing after this."

She couldn't believe he was saying this. Humans were awkward creatures, but if she was going to die she liked his species beliefs over hers. Taking in your last breath and then finding darkness frightened her.

"Maybe…maybe…I wasn't supposed to die that time."

Her eyes teared up again. "Well, maybe you'll find out this time." They would go together, the both of them.

Her teary eyes looked up into his. His lips were slightly open and she saw something in him that hadn't been there a moment ago. She swallowed the lump that had formed in the back of her throat. Her eyes moved slightly down to his lips and she felt a burning in the pit of her stomach for them, for him. She moved her head ever so slightly and opened her own lips. Would he accept her? If she let her inhibitions and fears go and followed something other than her pride, would he kiss her back? She opened her lips a little more, inviting him into her, but in the end she made the move. She leaned into him and opened her mouth as her lips met his. It was soft, gentle and he felt so good. She turned into him as his arms wrapped around her and pulled her closer. Her arms did the same as her mouth opened again and her tongue just slightly slid into his mouth. He kissed her upper lip and she slid her tongue in deeper, his tongue playing with hers.

They would go together. They would spend their last moments using all their oxygen as their bodies collided inside of each other. And then they would go together and see either light or darkness.

* * *

She did not wake suddenly. It was a slow descend from the sleep she had fallen in, back to consciousness. She didn't open her eyes at first, but let her mind wander over the memory she had replayed in a dream. She had been so scared then, of death. How naïve she had been. They were supposed to go together, but they hadn't. D'Argo had walked in and they had lived that day. They had lived through many days.

They had found each other in a slow and painful process, but his hope had won out in the end. She was his. He had shown her more life and more love than she would ever know. He had been her strength then and her strength now. He had been her everything and if she only knew then what she knew now. She would tell herself not to fear her own death.

Although she lived through the flax, she would die. She would die and her death would help bring her closer to the man she had longed to kiss that day. She did not fear her own death.

Her eyes finally opened and she looked at him beside her. He was the best thing that had ever happened to her. Her hand touched his cheek and new tears trailed down her own. _What do you see now, John? _She pulled the blanket that covered them both back up to her shoulders. She wasn't cold. She just needed to be touching him. Even if his skin no longer had the warmth she once wrapped herself in. Even if his arms would never hold her late at night as he twirled her hair around his finger. She just needed to feel him.

Her tears made new paths down her skin. He would never cry again. His eyes would never open. No, she did not fear her own death. She feared his.

_What do you see John? Your light? Or my darkness?_

* * *

Hope you liked it. Reviews make me feel special! 


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